Dear Friend,
Greetings. I hear you have found a lovely woman you wish to spend the rest of your life with. I hear she is Igbo.
Congratulations. Before you go ahead, however, please permit me to say a
few things concerning marrying an Igbo woman. I know unsolicited advice
is as unwanted as armpit boils, but do spare me a second or two; this
is important. See, I know you think the bride price you’ve been told to
pay and the long list of traditional marriage items are your biggest
issues…trust me, they are nothing compared with what you will face after
the ceremonies have been completed and every member of her village has
gone home with his/her share of the booty for which you mortgaged your
father’s properties.
Now, take note of the following, dear friend:
1. Forget Authority: If
you were marrying a Yoruba woman, she would have come to your house
with her mother’s voice ringing in her ears that a husband’s house is a
place where life’s lessons are learnt. It’s a different story for the
Igbo woman. She comes from a long line of ‘unruly’ people who
traditionally have no concept of a central authority figure. Prepare to
be stared down eyeball to eyeball in an argument. Prepare to be laughed
at when you attempt to assert yourself as the ‘man of the house.’ When
she’s done laughing, she’ll measure you, up and down with her left, and
sneer: ‘Hian! See this one o; who do you think you’re talking to?’
She’ll clap and shake her head, then she’ll add something in Igbo and
then saunter away, wriggling her backside. It isn’t for nothing that
the legendary Aba Womens’ Riot happened in…ABA.
